PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST

Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Stellan Skarsgard, and Bill Nighy as Davy Jones, written by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, directed by Gore Verbinski

It appears that the movie-going public completely ignored the mud critics threw on "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" (Entertainment Weekly gave it a D+). In the few weeks that "Pirates" has been in movie theatres, it has topped all box office records, including "Spiderman II." Before seeing it, though, much as I loved "Pirates I," I was afraid Verbinski had blown it, especially after a picture of Depp, as Jack Sparrow, appeared in Newsweek. He is sitting on an African Chieftain's chair, with painted columns of eyes running down his cheeks and an eye on each eyelid. Besides his leather boots, jerkin, blouse, and pirate hat clamped down on wild, scraggly, long, black hair, were feathers, skulls, bones, skins of strange animals, fur, and fake metallic artifacts, rings, and jewelry hanging not only from his ears, but from every finger and limb . "Uh oh, overkill." I thought. So with some trepidation, I went to see the film. Not only did I enjoy it immensely, I was amazed. It is two hours and forty minutes long, but not a minute drags. Believe me, even with the talky stuff, you won�t be bored. What drives the film is a "drawring," on a piece of parchment, of the key to the Chest in the title. Whoever finds the key, etc., etc., etc.

Gore Verbinski and crew brought elements of both William Shakespeare and Akira Kurosawa into "Pirates." A ghost (Stellan Skarsgard) appears in the fog of night to talk to his son, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom). There's a couple of old, raggedy shipmates, one tall, thin with a fake eye (Mackenzi Crook), the other short, fat and balding. They hang out together and scheme to outsmart Sparrow, Turner, and anyone else who gets in their way. When not scheming, they philosophize, especially when adrift at sea in a rowboat. They reminded me of Shakespeare's groveling low-lifes who pepper his casts, like Shallow and Pistol from "King Henry VI," or the stumpy, bow-legged peasants in Kurosawa's earliest black and white films, like "The Seven Samurai." The raunchy shipmates allow comic relief, though none is really necessary. Most of the movie is bust-a-gut hilarious. A couple of scenes are guaranteed to have you falling out of your chair: one where the crewmen of the Black Pearl, Sparrow's ship, along with Turner, are held captive by cannibals in two geodesic dome-like cages fashioned of rope and twine and hung over a deep gorge (what else?). They try to escape by swinging the cages against one side of gorge so they can reach out and grab the vegetation. What makes this scene especially side splitting is that it's enacted to a waltz soundtrack. The other involves Sparrow and Turner brandishing swords on a gigantic, out of control, rolling mill wheel.

Feminists will not be disappointed. Though the film is marketed for boys and men and everyone in love with Johnny Depp, Kiera Knightly, as Elizabeth Swann, doesn't wait around to be rescued by either Jack or her fiance, Will, but takes matters into her own hands. To search for Will, she escapes prison and stows away as a cabin boy on a British ship. Knightly's swash buckles just as righteously as that of her leading men; she's equally as good-looking, too, especially when she curls her upper lip in disdain, which is often. Dashing Orlando Bloom holds his own against Depp. With his dark hair and mustache, I could almost envision him as Errol Flynn's successor.

Notable characters are: Bill Nighy as Davy Jones in one of the creepiest makeup jobs ever (the "hairs" of his beard, mustache, and hair writhe constantly); Stellan Skarsgard as Turner's dad, who'd spent decades beneath the sea with Jones and has the barnacles and starfish facial enhancements to prove it (prosthetic makeup designer, Joel Harlan). Some of the dark, creepy, slimy scenes with Jones in his undersea locker with his barnacle and mussel encrusted crew made me feel waterlogged after a while. It was a relief when the film came up for the air and sunshine of a tropical island.

"Pirates" is vast, rollicking, and slapstick, lushly photographed by Dariusz Wolski, and beautifully scored by Hans Zimmer. It is a fun movie which critics have taken much, much too seriously. They should have simply relaxed and had fun. What did they expect, Ingmar Bergman? I can't wait for "Pirates III." Keith Richards makes a brief cameo as Sparrow's dad. I trust that when they filmed it, his head had healed sufficiently, after his fall from a coconut tree in Fiji.